Tension trailing down the head, body drenched by sweat, the atrocious chill down the spine- I always thought that the failure would be just like this and much more devastating, but last year I actually experienced the four-lettered worked which starts with ‘F’ but doesn’t end with ‘K’.
My half yearly examinations banged on with the Catastrophic Chemistry taking the lead. The question paper didn’t seem as terrible as I thought it would be, but as my pen trolled across the blank answer sheet. As the time circulated, I reckoned that just like the blank answer sheet, my brain was also blank.
Half-baked answers, otiose cheating attempts and blah blah blah. If those crazy attempts weren’t enough for my crazy head to ‘screw-up’ the puking paper, I began to draw crazy cartoons at the back of the question paper, pierced the eye balls of those cartoons with my pen and passed threads in them, and then tied over a knot around them. Devastating, crazy and true!
…and soon the three hours passed like a whiff of a wind.
Then came the Pathetic Physics, with its evil intentions. The pen was in no mood to wander across the one lined page field, as my head was blank, blanker from the damn’ beginning. No “blahs” to scribble as I ain’t good at notorious numerical and delusional derivations. Sheet by sheet children emptied, I sat still and silent with my hollow head thinking nothing, doing nothing. Was I nuts? Or was the teacher. She allowed me to cheat! Infact she asked me to cheat! , but she did that intelligent thing when the remaining time wasn’t that intelligent. In lieu of giving me the much awaited opportunity earlier, she had been asking me silly questions like “Why aren’t you doing the paper?” and I was retorting in a sillier and eco-friendly way “Just Conserving trees” I replied.
And then came the old n gold(shiny shit) yet not sold M!d@r#h$d Mathematics. Like always he greeted me a much awaited head-ache.
I again tried, tried and tried again,
Alas I came to know that I was just deep-frying my brain!
But by crook fastened with a hook, I somehow managed to shit-up the paper by scribbling over the false and fake marks with someone’s red pen, but still the marks couldn’t cross the border between the pass and fail, so I played with the total marks to cross the border line. Anyhow it worked and it didn’t. I wasn’t pass and I wasn’t fail but landed on the boundary, on the border between the pass and the fail, but the two bloody assholes waited for me there to drag me into the well of wail.
I wasn’t dead, but was I alive???