Tension trailing down the head, body drenched by sweat, the atrocious chill down the spine- I always thought that the failure would be just like this and much more devastating, but last year I actually experienced the four-lettered worked which starts with ‘F’ but doesn’t end with ‘K’.
My half yearly examinations banged on with the Catastrophic Chemistry taking the lead. The question paper didn’t seem as terrible as I thought it would be, but as my pen trolled across the blank answer sheet. As the time circulated, I reckoned that just like the blank answer sheet, my brain was also blank.
Half-baked answers, otiose cheating attempts and blah blah blah. If those crazy attempts weren’t enough for my crazy head to ‘screw-up’ the puking paper, I began to draw crazy cartoons at the back of the question paper, pierced the eye balls of those cartoons with my pen and passed threads in them, and then tied over a knot around them. Devastating, crazy and true!
…and soon the three hours passed like a whiff of a wind.
Then came the Pathetic Physics, with its evil intentions. The pen was in no mood to wander across the one lined page field, as my head was blank, blanker from the damn’ beginning. No “blahs” to scribble as I ain’t good at notorious numerical and delusional derivations. Sheet by sheet children emptied, I sat still and silent with my hollow head thinking nothing, doing nothing. Was I nuts? Or was the teacher. She allowed me to cheat! Infact she asked me to cheat! , but she did that intelligent thing when the remaining time wasn’t that intelligent. In lieu of giving me the much awaited opportunity earlier, she had been asking me silly questions like “Why aren’t you doing the paper?” and I was retorting in a sillier and eco-friendly way “Just Conserving trees” I replied.
And then came the old n gold(shiny shit) yet not sold M!d@r#h$d Mathematics. Like always he greeted me a much awaited head-ache.
I again tried, tried and tried again,
Alas I came to know that I was just deep-frying my brain!
But by crook fastened with a hook, I somehow managed to shit-up the paper by scribbling over the false and fake marks with someone’s red pen, but still the marks couldn’t cross the border between the pass and fail, so I played with the total marks to cross the border line. Anyhow it worked and it didn’t. I wasn’t pass and I wasn’t fail but landed on the boundary, on the border between the pass and the fail, but the two bloody assholes waited for me there to drag me into the well of wail.
I wasn’t dead, but was I alive???
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Last year, when my papers got over, on a boring day i decided to do something interesting, though the outcome was boring just like that day, but still i think the video is quite bearable.
So spare your 6 mins. to bear my first attempt.
Made using My Sony DCR-HC46E for recording and Windows Movie Maker for editing errors and terrors (Premiere was giving me format headaches)
Please express your burps!
Its NOT inspired from "Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets"
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With the news of Slumdog Millionaire's constant winning streak . I got curious to know what the heck's in the movie. And since its releasing on 23rd Jan and so are my annual papers, I thought when will piracy play its vital role. So I searched it over the net and finally found the English version of it on orkut. a still from slumdog millionare Plotty Potty: Based on Vikas Swarup's novel "Questions and Answers", Slumdog Millionaire is a not-so-ordinary rags to riches story of a boy named Jamal Malik told in a not-so-ordinary way. Jamal Malik (Dev Patel) participates in Kaun Banega Crorepati ( Indian version of Who Wants to Be A Millionare) to find his childhood love Latika (Freida Pinto) where he is accused of cheating. The movie starts with Jamal being interrogated by the police about how he knew the answers to all the questions. The movie unfolds as Jamal narrates his sour n' sweet experiences behind every answer. So is the movie really so good? and the answer is… 'c' … Slightly overrated and over-awarded. And about the acting ? And the answer is… 'c' It could have been brilliant. Though the acting is well ( neither good nor bad) but the movie in English is a little bit undigestible. Plus that Mr. Salim, as he grows not only his English improves but he starts speaking with a lil' bit of brit accent (not even gujarati Patel). Anil Kapoor and Saurabh Shukla were good. Irrfan Khan looked boozed. Latika (Freida Pinto) looked beautiful and acted beautifully. Kudos to the child artists in the movie, especially the youngest Jamal and his brother Salim. The movie has got its own flaws (KBC was never telecasted live) but the director Danny Boyle knew how to hide the flaws with his intelligent story-telling.
Soundtrack:
The background score by AR Rahman goes along the mood of the movie (the O Saiyya,Ringa Ringa,Sitar music)
Craziest Scene:
When youngest Jamal jumps in shit to get the autograph of Amitabh Bachchan (the fake one)
Coolest Scene:
Old bollywood style of increasing the age, but I really liked the scene when youngest Jamal tries to steal the food from the train.
Sucking Scene:
The AR Rahman's 'Jai Ho' comes before/along the credits with a damn' dance number (which looked similar to ek challis ki last local's kya hua jo lari chuti… but this one was more weird looking)
When expectations exceed, celestial bodies decrease.
For Slumdog Millionare
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ELEVENTH SUCKS BIG TIME!
Why does it always feels like that the previous class rocked, and the current one sucks ( most people say, may be not but hell I say it)
I am in the 11th grade for more than half a year, and it seems that I am rusting and decaying in the walls of 11th for more than a lifetime., though my text books and refreshers refuse to agree… some display their dew-fresh untouched pages (they aren’t wet) and some torn apart (I don’t blame myself for testing the effects of gravity on them, in fact damn CBSE and NCERT for the screwed up quality of the books, the books with the hologram)
My perspective towards studying/cramming changed a lot in the past few years. My favorite subjects switched their positions, from Science to S.St to English to IT to nothing.
Even though I have chosen Sciences-Non Medical (forcibly) it is hard for me to digest more than one paragraph at a time.
My most hated and dreaded subject from the last decade used to be Mathematics, until Science took an unexpected turn and absorbed numbers and gave birth to the two new demons in the Science, The Chemistry and The Physics, where the fusion of the numericals and the good old concepts took place.
And now Physics and Chemistry have taken more grim avatars, their books might not be king sized but the reference books that may not enhance your mind but regular lifting and dropping of it may enhance your biceps.
In fact Physics and Chemistry have formed new definitions in my screwed up mind.
Physics: Baat ka Batangarh Banana (Making a mountain out of mole hill).The concepts which were sometimes interesting for me have turned into crappy derivations with triple x’s and y’s v1’s and v2’s and lot of weird greek alphabets that keep on getting add as constants.
Eg: If something falls, according to physics “OMG it can fall! Let’s put some g’s and G’s over it”
Chemistry: If it was fiction it could be much better but alas it’s a collect of false facts and hypothetical bullshittin’ concepts that were given by drunk homo-genius scientists. Chemistry is a whole damn’ branch of lying on lies.
Eg: A dog Is peeing @ a pole , according to chemistry it is pouring some H2O on Fe
With tremendous increase in the stinkin’ tendencies of Physics and Chemistry, The fear of Maths has reduced somewhat.
LONG DIE P.C.M.
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